Archive for self portrait

My personality


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Those eyes

Cleaning out my closet

We spent today on a few deep cleaning projects. Kev cleaned out the front closet… actually it was more like throwing things out and handing me things he didn’t know what to do with. While I was trying to organize some things in the living room.

We had moved the living room around last week and also got rid of an antique desk I had that collected everything!

As I try to find logical places for computer supplies, office supplies and assorted other crap, I was cleaning out some drawers that have had stuff in them forever.

I don’t know why, but I am a packrat. I’ve tried to figure it out, but I can’t. On occasion I get in the mood to toss stuff and when I do, I really try to take advantage.

I started going through one of my file drawers today and I ran across a folder with old love letters in it. Not from anyone in particular, actually it’s most of the letters I received from the time I was 16 until I was in my 20’s or 30’s. I didn’t throw them out. What the fuck, people?… I. didn’t. throw. them. out.

I am so happily married; I could make you puke talking about it. I KNOW I will be married to Kevin for the rest of our lives. Yet, I didn’t throw them out. I don’t get it. I don’t know what I gain from keeping them. I don’t know what I will lose by throwing them out. I just don’t get my emotional attachment to those letters. It’s not just the love letters. I also ran across a file from 1983, when I tried to get into the U.S. Air Force. Twenty-four years ago.

24 years.

I re-read the file, but I didn’t… couldn’t throw it out.

I was 20 years old and trying to get into the Air Force. I scored in the 97th percentile on my ASVAB test and there were six openings that were available to me. As a female, I wouldn’t even have been considered without a score over 93. As I started through the paperwork process (after the test), I came across a question that asked about something that occurred in my past. I had to be honest. I was told I couldn’t get into the Air Force, but the Army was an option. I didn’t want to be in the Army, I wanted to be in the Air Force. Lots of paper shuffling and letter writing ensued. I tried to get a waiver. Even with my high scores, I couldn’t get that waiver. Obviously, I never became a member of the military. I never became a helicopter repair-person. It wasn’t meant to be, and I get that. More importantly, I accept that.

That chapter in my life is long since closed, yet I cannot throw the file away. It was a deeply emotional period of my life, but it was almost a quarter of a century ago.

Still, the file sits in my filing cabinet.

What part of our beings holds on to these past artifacts?
Is it a fear of forgetting?
Is it a fear of losing part of me as a person?
Do I keep things to reflect on how far I have come as a person?
Why do I think I would be losing part of myself by getting rid of some things?

I certainly am not the kind of person that lives in the past, and this part of my being baffles me.

~*~*~

One the upside: look at the cute pink hat I Kev found in the closet.
Day 24 - cleaning out my closet

Things I learned today…

It doesn’t matter if you go to bed at 9:30 PM; if you are awake from 1:00 AM to 3:45 AM you will feel like shit most of the day.

Photo evidence (day 20 of 365):
Day 20 - sleepless nights

Vicks may or may not work. I’m not sure. I do know Vicks won’t keep your sick son asleep.

This shitty post counts as a post for NaBloPoMo.

G’night.

November 12 of 12


Welcome to the nAbLOpOmO version of 12 of 12. For more info and to see lots of other purty 12 of 12’s check out Chad’s site. Nothing really special about this being the nAbLOpOmO version, it’s the same ole 12 of 12. It just happens to fall in the middle of nAbLOpOmO. Blah, blah, blah.

I had the 12th off in honor of our Veteran’s. I had big plans…. big, big plans. Then the Bug caught a bug. So as you flip thru these lame-ass pics, keep in mind the photographer didn’t get much sleep. And my usual 50 to 60 pics to choose from was 16. That should sufficiently explain the Tyler pooping picture.

Consider yourself forewarned.

Bonus word this month: grateful.

10:15 AM – Didn’t even pick up the camera until now. This is where I spent the night with Hunter. He was really struggling to sleep so we came downstairs to sleep in the rocker together and ensure that Dad would get some sleep. Dad had to work.
Forgot to make the bed.

10:18 AM – I let the dogs out and find Missy putting on her morning perfume. nice.
Missy applying her morning perfume

10:20 AM – Poop or sniff? that is the question. Sorry, I know this is bad, but I told you I was short on pics.
Poop or sniff?

10:20 AM – Blue jay, blue pole, blue wires… playing with white balance can give you some cool effects. Shut up, it’s not a crap picture… it’s artsy.
Mr. Blue Jay

11:04 AM – Me taking my self-portrait for the 365 day challenge. I like to call it “Sleepless in Auburn Hills”. Hey, don’t you love the plunger in the background. Jeez
Day 12 - 365 - Sleepless in Auburn Hills.

11:05 AM – Me and the Bug. The reason for the plunger being put up high. Maybe he wants to be a plumber someday. No, he’s not THAT tall, he’s just standing on his step-stool.
a little help

11:45 AM – Bug at the doctor’s office. See, white balance cool effect again.
Waiting

1:56 PM – We just met Grandma for lunch after the doctor’s office visit.
Lunch date

4:59 PM – Flash play. Apparently he’s teething again.
fingers, yummy.

5:00 PM – and feeling better. “AAAUAUUUGUGHGHGHGHGGHH!”
AUAAUUUUUUUGHHHGHGH!

Bonus pic – 5:07 PM – a clean litter box. The kitties love that! This month the bonus word was grateful. While I have a lot to be grateful for and it could apply to most of these pictures, I am sure the kitties are grateful for a clean litter box.
a clean litter box

8:27 PM – Late dinner at Chili’s.
Chili's

9:25 PM – A long hot bath for me before bed. Man I needed that.
Relaxation

Chillin’

Day 11 - 365
Day 11 of 365 challenge.

This is what I did today. Kev played his new Hooked game for the Wii and Hunter napped in my lap.

Last night was a bit rough, Hunter started running a fever last night and he was up quite a few times after 2 AM. You can just see it in his face when he doesn’t feel good. He is going to be screwed when he gets older and tries to fake being sick to say home. Just look at his poor little eyes:
Not a good hair day.
Don’t mind his bed-head… he doesn’t feel good.

Another tell-tale sign, random sleepage on the floor:
Sleeping beauty

Not to say, my day was not with out some fun:
Arrrrgggg
ARRGGGG!
He is so lucky I couldn’t get the pirate hat to stay on his head and I couldn’t find the bandana Hunter wore.

I leaf you (get it…. leaf you… leave you… oh nevermind.) with some final Michigan beauty:
Nature's gold
I love the color of fall in Michigan.

But Oak trees are my favorite! This old Oak, lives in our backyard.
the old oak in the back yard.
I sure hope the leaves fall before the snow flies. It would just be too heavy for that old girl to hold onto.

Tomorrow is 12 of 12 and I have to day off. Hopefully Hunter will be feeling better and we can get out and get some interesting shots.

Don’t forget, today is Veteran’s Day, here in the States. It’s a good time to reflect and be appreciative of all of our Veteran’s and their families.

Un-funkified

First and foremost, thank you to everyone for your uplifting comments and thoughts. You guys are awesome!!

Kev ended up working almost 12 hours again today, which sucked. Usually he only works 5 hours every other Saturday. There really are so many mixed emotions. I hate the schedule, but I know he hates it more. I’m not the kind of wife that calls him and bitches or gives him a hard time about all the hours. Hell, I realize it’s not by his choice. And I believe that when he frustrated, which he is now, it’s my job to calm him. And vice-versa.

Originally he was supposed to go to a poker party tonight, but when he found out he had to work, he cancelled his plans. He didn’t think it was fair to work and then come home and leave again and play poker. Plus, he wanted to spend time with his son. I told him he deserves some fun too, but he insisted. What a great man and what an AWESOME Dad!! This is why I love my marriage and believe that I married that man I was meant to.

I accomplished so much today ( I told you I wouldn’t be funky for long): I got the living room dusted, vacuumed, changed around and even got the carpet shampooed. Hunter only napped for half an hour, so it was an interesting exercise. I felt like I was shampooing in crop circles. I feel so much better about getting caught up on some of the housework. The living room is where we spend almost all of our time. Lately, Hunters toys and books have really taken over the entire living room. I really was craving a change so it would look more like a living room as opposed to Hunter’s space.

Ok, on to some really frustrating fun stuff. The Lisa Show is one of my new favorite blogs. She has this awesome new blog that she just started called Beyond Megapixels which is, in her words “…everyman’s guide to digital photography…” It’s a great site, and I highly recommend a trip around the site.

Anyway, there is a link to an interesting article by Beverly Spicer about Hemispheric dominance. In other words, the naked spinning lady. I knew that would get your attention.

The first time I looked at it she was spinning clockwise, I looked down to write that down (I didn’t look at which way meant what yet) and when I looked up, she was spinning counter-clockwise. So I’m thinking, yep, that’s about right. I believe I use both sides of my brain. But can I stop there? Nooo.

I have to keep checking. Just can’t leave well enough alone.

I only see her spinning counter-clockwise one other time. Every other time the bitch is spinning clockwise. Now I should be thinking “cool, I’m all artsy and stuff”, but people, I’m a fucking accountant!!! I love LOGIC puzzles. I calculate numbers in my head every. day.

So I show the page to my husband (once he finally got home 😉 ). I ask him, which way is she spinning…”counter-clockwise”.

“Are you sure.”

“yea”

I close the computer screen and open it up again… (laptop, folks)
“how about now?”

“counter-clockwise”

WTF – All I have to say, besides wtf, is Lisa, I feel your pain.

Oh yea, you are gonna want to blogroll The Lisa Show too… she draws comics!!!

Yesterday’s 365 – I told you I was tired.
Day 9 - 365 days - Friday night tired 2

Nice mustache, eh?

Hey, don’t forget, Monday is the 12th which means Chad’s 12 of 12.

I hope everyone is having a super weekend!!

Lame, late and some links


Well it’s late. Man it’s hard to work all day, chill with your son, take pictures, feed your son, feed yourself and still come up with a good blog entry.

Good news: I did get a chance to take some pics, and you know what that means… you get to see some. But the good thing for me is I was playing with my Speedlite flash, which I have really been struggling with. I still don’t understand why the camera exposure meter doesn’t meter for the Speedlite. But, like everything else, I just need to play with it practice so I can look at my mistakes and learn from them.

After I saw Bryce’s post today, I had an inspiration for my 365 today… but alas it didn’t work out. So I just took a picture in the mirror. I don’t know about you guys, but this 365 thing is making all the mirrors in my house really clean!!

Mirrors make me think bathroom… speaking of bathrooms…

You have got to check out this post from Sarcastic Mom. Funny, funny shit!! You may as well just blogroll the site, you will want to go back.

Here is a hilarious (to me) picture of Hunter. He was put in his playpen as a sort of time out. He wasn’t even trying to listen to me and continued to do something I kept telling him to stop.

Yes, that's his foot.

Now he is either practicing to be a ballet dancer (which I doubt) or he is trying to climb out. He has tried to climb out a hundred times before, but this is the first time he has been able to get his foot up there.

Ok, so here is today’s photo the 365 days project on flickr.
You guys are being way too kind with all of you lovely comments of my self-portraits. I’m very flattered, thank you!!

I am actually quite happy with this one. I hoped to do something else with the mirror, but I guess I have 357 more days to try and figure that out.
day 8 - 365 days

Ok, it’s 10:15 and my husband still isn’t just got home from work. WTF. I hate his employer right now.

That is all.

The wife in me

I only take my wedding ring off for two things: (man, you guys are perverts!) getting it cleaned and doing something with my hands that might trash it (like coloring my hair). Yesterday I took my wedding ring off to color my hair. I always put it in the same place so there is no fear of losing it.

But there is the potential of forgetting to put it back on. That’s what I did yesterday; I forgot to put it back on. I bet I noticed that I wasn’t wearing it 10 times today.

So this was the inspiration for my self portrait today.
Day 5 - the wife in me.

~*~*~

It wasn’t rough adapting to daylight savings time – not really. But I don’t like driving home in the dark. Normally I try to have a conversation with Hunter on the way home. Mostly it’s just me talking, but sometimes he chimes in. I don’t know what the heck he’s saying, but it’s a nice way to encourage conversation and I hope to continue the tradition for a long time to come. But with the change in time, it’s dark and harder to have a conversation with the little man in the back seat.

Come on winter solstice.

Well, that’s it for today. I’m off to get some sleep. My husband is still working 14 hour days and it’s a rough way for both of us to start the week. Anyone else feeling the connection here (or is it irony)?

~*~*~
11/6/07
I’ve edited the timestamp on this post. I posted (or at least I thought I did) it last night. Now usually I double check that my post is showing, I must not have done that. Shoot, I guess I’m out of the running for a prize, but I guess that’s okay. It’s the thought that counts and since I THOUGHT I posted, it’s all good.

p.s.


Holy crap, two posts – one day. It must be November.

I’ve been inspired by Daisies.

I was thinking about doing the 365 days project but figured starting in the middle of October was stupid. Then I saw Daisies’ post today.

Then I remembered what my Mom said to me today after she looked my Flickr page:
“There are never any pictures of you. Hunter will think his Mommy didn’t exist.”

Then I decided, today would be a good day to start.

365 - day 1