The new “f-word”

After right-winger Ann Coulter used the “f-word” to slam

Now hold on one cotton-pickin’ minute! (I can still say “cotton-pickin”, can’t I?) There is only ONE “f-word” and we shouldn’t be making new ones – it will be way too confusing. Or have we switched? Is fuck now to be referred to as the “f-bomb” and any form of the word fag now should be referred to as the “f-word”. I don’t know about you, but I think of a cigarette when I hear the word fag. Maybe cigarette should just be “c-word”… oh hell that won’t work… that’s taken too.

Ok, so if I have this straight… now we can only have 26 words we can’t say and have to refer to as the first letter followed by “-word”… this is just going to get too confusing. According to George Carlin, there are only seven dirty words you can’t say on television, but two of them start with the same letter – so we already have issues.

Let’s see:
a-word
b-word – which one: bitch, bastard or bugger
c-word (I see trouble here)
d-word – dumbass is much more fun to say
e-word – well here’s and extra one. We probably shouldn’t use it anyway – you may offend someone named Edward.
f-word (again, too many uses)
g-word – umm… is the socially acceptable version of g-spot?
h-word – how we should now refer to Howard K Stern
i-word – can we switch from the Internets to the I-word – should we still capitalize it??
j-word – since my last name used to be Johnson, I vote for using the J-word instead. It would have made my life easier.
k-word – “watch your language in front of my K-word”
l-word – is love a bad word now?
m-word
n-word – taken
o-word – I think the “big O” is safe.
p-word – is it wrong to use this for the word pee. (am I the only one laughing here?)
q-word
r-word
s-word
t-word
u-word
v-word
w-word
x-word
y-word
z-word

Well I see a bunch that aren’t used.

You know this is really getting way to confusing. They have started censoring our music… okay, whatever… but be consistent people. You bleep out “cocaine” from the words by Kid Rock’s Picture…”Been fueling up on cocaine and whiskey” but then a few minutes later they play Eric Clapton’s song: “Cocaine” with has the word cocaine in it no less than 10 times and nothing gets bleeped.

How come they can say “son of a bitch” on TV but shit is a no-no? Personally I think it’s less offensive to call some on a shit then to call them a son of a bitch. But that’s just me.

No consistency. No wonder I’m confused. I think I’ll stick to using asshat, who-ha, crap-o-rama and fuck.

Maybe Snoop Dogg was on to something… fo’-shizzle my nizzzle.

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3 Comments »

  1. Stepherz Said:

    You have me crying here! Stop-it!

    I’m really having f-word withdrawls here. I want to say it soooo bad but there’s always little ears around. The other day I had a driver in front of me who just didn’t have the balls (another fun word) to pull out and go. We just sat there forever waiting. I finally said, “Go Asshole!” Not good. Bella chimed in with “Go you stinky asshole!” Well said, but not by a 2 year old.

    Next time I’ll try saying “Go A-word!” Might start a new trend on slang.

  2. […] Sheryl, I am such also an ”A-word.” I think in this case she didn’t mean […]

  3. nikki Said:

    i don’t have much control over my swearing, unless there’s a two year old near by. i also take my swearing frustrations out in my blog….in case you hadn’t noticed.


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