Dear Mr. Skunk,
I would really appreciate it if you would not spray the Big Brown Dog. He is still a puppy (sort of) and he doesn’t understand that you are not a kitty, like he has inside. He just wants to play “chase me” with you.
If you can not abide by the rules, I am afraid I will have to ask you to move to someone else’s property.
Thank you!
~Sheryl
Dear Big Brown Dog,
If you do NOT stop chasing the kittys with the white stripe I am going to have to kick your ass!! I am tired of smelling skunk! I am sorry I had to leave you tied up outside for the morning but you were not coming in the house smelling like that. Also, if you would like to not be bathed in peroxide, baking soda and dish soap and further, not be rinsed in cold-ass water, stop chasing the skunks!! It’s pretty simple really.
I love ya buddy, but I just can’t deal with this crap!
Mom
Dear everyone else,
Do you smell something? You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?
Thanks,
~Sheryl
This:
plus this:
equals this: 
